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Professor and Associate Vice Provost of Undergraduate Education
Latin Literature, Classics, ancient Rome, ancient Comedy, Plautus, Terence, jokes, puns, wine, Cicero, Virgil, neo-Latin
- Latin literature, classical Roman society, and the Renaissance. Humanism (forest), not philology (trees). Wine, swine, mind, and a good laugh.
I'm a big proponent of teaching Latin as an active, living (spoken) language, which is how I learned it. I regularly consult on Latin for museums, institutions, dealers, and collectors. I've exposed forgery in Renaissance and Dutch Golden Age paintings, discovered the forgotten provenance of a major manuscript, and I interpret manuscripts, books, maps, and engravings of all kinds. Please email me if you need help.
In 2016 I received the Thomas S. Szasz Award for Outstanding Contributions to the Cause of Civil Liberties.
- CLASS 2810 : Wine Culture
- CLASS 2810 : Wine Culture
- CLASS 2811 : Wine Culture Discussion
- CLASS 3686 : Independent Study in Classical Civilization, Undergraduate Level
- CLASS 4722 : Honors: Senior Essay II
Is there an art to drinking alcohol? Can drinking ever be a virtue? The Renaissance humanist and neoclassical poet Vincent Obsopoeus (ca. 1498–1539) thought so. In the winelands of sixteenth-century Germany, he witnessed the birth of a poisonous new culture of bingeing, hazing, peer pressure, and competitive drinking. Alarmed, and inspired by the Roman poet Ovid’s Art of Love, he wrote The Art of Drinking (De Arte Bibendi) (1536), a how-to manual for drinking with pleasure and discrimination. In How to Drink, Michael Fontaine offers the first proper English translation of Obsopoeus’s text, rendering his poetry into spirited, contemporary prose and uncorking a forgotten classic that will appeal to drinkers of all kinds and (legal) ages. Complete with the original Latin on facing pages, this sparkling work is as intoxicating today as when it was first published.
How to Drink is a companion piece and sequel to The Pig War.
Potential patrons! ’Pon purchase, publication proceeds—pennies, pounds, pesos—pay pupils’ programs - provisions - pilgrimages, produce perks, promote participation, push progress!
In 1530, amid the ferment of the Reformation, the strangest poem in all of Latin literature appeared. Written by one John Placentius, it consists of 248 verses in which every word begins with the letter p. The poem—titled Pugna Porcorum—is a satirical epic telling of a conflict between the corrupt hogs, who are hogging all the privileges, and the piglets, who want in on them. It devolves into open war.
In The Pig War, Michael Fontaine offers the first critical Latin text and the first translation of the Pugna into any language, and original illustrations by David Beck bring the timeless fairytale of privilege and oppression to life. In an afterword, Fontaine explores the poem’s possible influence on Orwell’s Animal Farm, and he explains how Placentius’ ill-advised pseudonym, Publius Porcius, triggered all kinds of misidentifications, accusations, recriminations, and, in modern scholarship, at least one hilarious crackpot theory.
The Pig War is a companion piece to How to Drink.
3. c. 2021 (in progress). How to Tell a Joke: An Ancient Guide to Humor and How to Use It. Princeton University Press. (Edition and translation of Cicero's treatise on humor).
1. In press. "Camerarius Camelarius: A New Salt Road to the Modern World." In Thomas Baier and Tobias Dänzer (eds.) Plautus in der Frühen Neuzeit. Tübingen: Narr Francke Attempto. (On the manuscript tradition of Plautus' comedies; allegory painted by Lucy Plowe)
2. In press. ‘Before Pussy Riot: Free Speech and Censorship in the Age of Plautus.’ (On Sotades as the "barbarian poet" in Miles Gloriosus; line drawings by Lucy Plowe; spot the palindromes.) In: Chrysanthi Demetriou and Sophia Pappaioannou (eds.), Plautus Doctus. Cambridge: Cambridge Scholars Publishing.
3. In press. ‘Joannes Burmeister.’ Frühe Neuzeit in Deutschland 1620–1720: Literaturwissenschaftliches Verfasserlexikon (VL17), vol. 2. Berlin: De Gruyter. Eventually online here.
4. In progress. 'The Twisted Tale of the Pugna Porcorum: A parable of privilege, oppression, and pent-up passions.' (Supplement to The Pig War.)